omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he was CRYING into my vagina
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
