whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
