can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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