Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
the liver wants what the liver wants
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
