I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
