2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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