OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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