it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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