I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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