just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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