last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
