Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
