i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
