fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
