Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
