nut hugger
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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