It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
