Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
