weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
