I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
