I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
