Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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