garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Can Purell be used as lube?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
