I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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