the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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