I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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