I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
