i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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