Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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