She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just cropdusted the office
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
