I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Bring me that man meat
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
