I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize