i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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