So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
