And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
