Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
