i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
