She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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