My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
