My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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