it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
