i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize