I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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