I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
