I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
