I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
