I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
