Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize