So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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