Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
