Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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