i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
