I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
wakey wakey hands off snakey
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
