Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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