First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
