how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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