Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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