i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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