ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
