i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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